When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Siren's Song
Friday, October 17, 2003
The deceptive eye.
Just got berated by a friend for removing him from my visible list. My fault. He suggested we go collect the NUROPS cert together, so of course I replied "Yea why not?" Then he went something along the lines of "What the hell! You're online and I can't see you!" Ermz. You get the idea.
But that's only ICQ.
The number of effigies with a fire-engine red "barred" sign branded rudely across their faces is steadily increasing, and it is not projected to come down anytime soon.
I'm afraid of being online nowadays. Cyberphobic. Interneurotic. Wateva. Driven away by kind muggers (oh my loyal subjects) who ceaselessly ping me with "Mugger Alert - X more weeks to exams!" messages. Well-meaning and helpful, yes; but I really don't need more reminders that I've been a perfect little piece of shit for this entire semester. One of my pals even casually asked me "Are you prepared for the exams yet?" *world caves in*
I may be the fair Queen Nerdette "of Geek mythology, in current times", but that doesn't mean everyone has to report to me their progress, or lack of progress, with their "royal duty" of uh-hm - mugging.
And please, I beg of my loyal subjects (mere humans, kapui! *smiles sweetly*), onegai shimasu, I implore ye faithful minions, do not press me to give out more verdicts on whether your term papers or lab reports can make the mark. The Queen does not and knows not how to wave a magic wand. The omnipotent power is Macrohard's spellcheck; the alpha-and-omega goes by the name of Google. Therein lies the Queen's power. The magic word: Googlospellcheck!
May the Queen announce that she is a Queen (obviously), not a walking dictionary or dinosaur by the name of Thesaurus. Queen NERDETTE. NERDETTE. NERDETTE. Etch it in your numbskulls, all ye pathetically imbecilic creatures! Do not disturb her slumber or break her divine concentration by shoving abrupt requests for word substitutions into her face, and thus so marring her fair countenance. What blatant insolence! Such brazen atrocity! Fools, off with ya heads!
*Ops.*
Am I getting too carried away by my manical ravings? Pardon my ranting frenzy. It was never meant to hurt (if it did). I just need to let out some steam. Debilitated, enervated, enfeebled, sapped, weakened, exhausted, worn out, and very much bogged down by the humongous amount of work our world-class university is throwing at us.
My EQ's low, very low. It's not unreasonable to even assume that it's within the negative range. I DO NOT know how to properly reject someone's request to proof read a document, or give comments, or critically review something, or pass them my old reports. And I DO NOT want to make a promise to do so, and then break it or forget about it faster than one can mutter "alamakeroos".
Do not mistake my ubiquitous presence online for being superdupermegaultra eng2. My mind's weak. I tire easily. Some people watch TV; others play music. I surf and blog to rest and recharge myself.
That's why I choose to shut myself out from ICQ. That explains why I don't reply your messages. It speaks for all those unanswered calls too.
A Queen, but really just a queen of wishful thinking. Nothing more than a mere human, of the same breed, sharing the same creed - to mug, and to excel. Blessings to all for the coming exams. Straight from the heart, blessed be.
Lost all my reflections on my maiden piece two days ago. Everything turned out to be gibberish. To think I spent two hours writing a superdupermegaamazingly long piece too! Gah.
Shall resume when the urge strikes again. Not that it's any good either. Bleah.
9:22 PM
